Talking about money is something we find difficult. It is a sensitive subject for many and I certainly raise my hand here as well. Why really? You just want to earn what you're worth, right? I interviewed Merel van der Wouden of Blackbird Negotiations: fellow surfer, digital nomad, entrepreneur but above all expert on negotiation. As a negotiation coach, she knows better than anyone what the most common mistakes are when negotiating.
Mistake #1: You are not well prepared
As with so many things, a good start is half the battle. But really. You may think you're well prepared, yet you're not quite sure of yourself during a negotiation meeting. If you know what you are worth, it is not at all uncomfortable to ask for this amount. In fact, it would be uncomfortable not to ask! Consider in advance what your lower limit is and think about a plan B. As Merel emphasizes: don't think in terms of fears, but in terms of possibilities. Maybe you are very afraid that your (future) client will say no because there is not enough budget. Believe in yourself enough to tell them that it is well worth the investment.
Mistake #2: You don't know your (market) value well
Know what you are worth, otherwise you can't negotiate it either. According to Merel, this consists of two parts: what your market value is and what you consider yourself worth.
Your market value depends on your competition and what exactly you do. What do you deliver and what value do you add? Do research on what someone like you earns. Check average hourly rates through Google or just ask for a quote from your competition. Ikgastarten.nl is a fine website where you can find this.
On the other hand, you can make yourself more valuable by, for example, specializing in a particular area, having specific knowledge, having completed a master's or other education, or being frequently mentioned in the press. Think of business coach Tony Robbins (if you don't know him yet, check out the docu "I am not your guru" on Netflix. Really great). His workshops are sold out by default and the prices are much higher than a European business coach who will tell or teach you the same thing. The point is that Tony Robbins has made himself more valuable by building a strong image. He is known worldwide through his success stories in the media and word of mouth. He truly believes in what he does. You want that too.
Determining your value is also a matter of trial and error. Are you full every time and have many satisfied clients? Then it's time to raise your hourly rate. See if people are still willing to pay it. If not, your increase is too much and you need to come back down. But maybe it will work too!
Mistake #3: You don't make a counterproposal
Merel coaches women and notices that it is something typically female not to make a counter-proposal. Women get a proposal and are far too happy about it. No matter how good the proposal is, you can always make a counter-proposal. Not shot is always wrong. Saying no remains difficult. People would rather say yes and not live up to it than say no. But saying no in a negotiation meeting is really worth it. Want to know more about saying no? Merel wrote a blog on how to say no without seeming like a bitch.
Mistake #4: You think no is the end
A no is not the end of the conversation. In fact, it is the beginning! Think of it as a delineation: this is how your client doesn't want it. What you can say, "clearly to hear that it won't go this way, maybe we can do it this way? [Suggest another way]" Don't be afraid of disapproval; instead, think in terms of opportunities.
So, that was a fine crash course in entrepreneurship! Want to know more about entrepreneurship? I highly recommend Merel. She is sympathetic yet tough, which really gets you going. Of course you can read her blogs and look up all kinds of other tips on negotiation, but a coaching session like this is a big stick. With personal touches, examples and opportunities to ask questions, she makes sure that you no longer put off a negotiation meeting and really get going.
